GIM Director Sends Condolences to Duke Alumni

Duke's loss to a superior Hopkins squad in yesterday's NCAA Championship have left Duke alumni across the nation heartbroken. Alumni in Hopkins GIM are no exception. "It was crushing.  I don't see how I could ever wear a Duke T-shirt again," said Chayan Charkrobarti, a third-year GIM Fellow. Prominent Duke alumnus and former Duke fraternity president Eric Bass agrees: "First basketball, now lacrosse--maybe I'll start telling people I attended UNC." Jeremy Sugarman, a renowned ethicist and a former Blue Devil mascot waxed philosophical on the loss:  "Every few centuries or so, there are events so profound that they can shift prevalining conceptual models.  I believe that this loss may mark just such a paradigm shift. Perhaps Duke should consider dropping to Division III across the board. From a psychological perspective, the worst part of the loss is yet to come: the inevitable taunting at the hands of those who find glee in Duke's abasement." Fred Brancati, Chief of Hopkins GIM, warns against such taunting and asks faculty, fellows, and staff to join him in extending heartfelt condolences to dispirited Dukies at Hopkins and around Charm City. "While we all enjoy Duke's utter humilation at the hands of our beloved Blue Jays for the second time in 3 years, we must fight to keep this kind of schadenfreude in check," Brancati advises.